On A Rainy Autumn Day

On a rainy autumn day I normally need nothing but a cup of tea, nice book and some piano instrumentals. Not this time. I don't know why, but I decided that I need more friends so I took bunch of envelopes and started writing letters to different people, people, who I've never talked to before. When the letters were finished, I started to put them into envelopes and writing addresses on them. I suddenly felt sick.
I don't know why... oh, wait, I know! My address was wrong. This is not where I meant to be. My name was wrong too. It matches me no more. I know soon enough I will be able to write another address and name, I just need to wait for like five years. Five years. Five fucking years. That's too long!!!
I want another name on the envelope. I damn need it! My old name contains all my past, all the bad memories of me being kid and teen. I'm way over it now. My name is Christina. It is for like three years now. I just need it on the envelope. But I can't put it there. Irony? Perhaps, but I still feel sick.

Random Dream

You know you need a break when you're no longer able to see wonderful and colorful dreams, when scenes from your daily routine flash up in your dreams. I need a break. I needed a huge break. 

All I remember from my today's dream is that I had an argument with some guy I've never seen before. He was telling me what to do and I told him he knew nothing about my life. He called me stupid little kid, I know I'm no longer one. 

It lasted a while until He interfered.

He made the other guy go away. Then He just set down and let me hug Him. I know I told Him everything, but I can't remember a thing I said. He just listened. Then He said one thing. It still makes me feel warm and calm. The funny thing is that I don't remember what He said. I don't even remember His voice. But I thank Him for that appearance. 

And hey, if you are really that sweet in real life, please, move next door to me.