I've never lied to you.
I want you near! I don't hate you. I love you. I do. Can't live without you. Well, I tried, but that kind of life truly sucks. I can't imagine anyone who could ever replace you. You are the only best friend I ever had.
You were right at everything you said about me: I'm a fool, freak, jerk. Just the biggest cynic bitch ever! But with the heart and soul.
I'm not ready for the changes in my life. Still a kid. Still a fool.
I won't stop trying to talk to you as we used to. I won't stop trying not being afraid of your reaction. That's true, I'm afraid. That's why I can't say this to your face. But the main point is...I don't want to be enemies. I need at least the illusion of normal relationship. And I'm sorry!!!! I've done such a huge amount of things wrong way!I wish I could change it. But we both know I can't, but I'll never stop trying.
Oh that's not all...I just can't go on. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. I can't change the past, I'll try to change the future. Only if I have you permission to.
My life is very different now. Not the best I could have. Please tell me that it can be changed. In a good way.
Don't want to be enemies even if we can't be friends ever again.
As usual, my speech isn't perfect, I'm not eloquent, you know. But what I wrote...that was from the bottom of my heart. Don't mean to hurt you.
xoxo Me
