You know what's scary? When you don't know.
Sometimes that's just little things like not knowing what to wear on a first date or not knowing the correct answer on an exam. And what if something bigger is bothering you. You don't know if a storm will hit tomorrow, don't know if someone attacks you when you come back home late, don't know if you have enough money to pay the bills...
I'm not bothered by all of that. That other question sits deeper inside of me, sounds quieter.
What if I'm not able to write ever again? Never. Not a word.
I'll be locked in this black box with no chance of getting out, no chance of my voice being heard. If you think about it, thats all I am.
I am my thoughts.
I am my words.
I am my actions.
I can't put my thoughts into words, which means I can't give myself a command to act.
Apparently, its more important than I thoughts, more complicated than I expected.
Tomorrow will bring a day. I don't care if its Monday or Thursday, January or October. I'll sit down at my desk and I'll make myself write a sentence. Then another one. And it doesn't matter if they turn out to be shitty. It's more important to make a start. This is how I want to spend days. Writing. But first I need to kick my own ass, because no-one else can do it but me.
Sometimes that's just little things like not knowing what to wear on a first date or not knowing the correct answer on an exam. And what if something bigger is bothering you. You don't know if a storm will hit tomorrow, don't know if someone attacks you when you come back home late, don't know if you have enough money to pay the bills...
I'm not bothered by all of that. That other question sits deeper inside of me, sounds quieter.
What if I'm not able to write ever again? Never. Not a word.
I'll be locked in this black box with no chance of getting out, no chance of my voice being heard. If you think about it, thats all I am.
I am my thoughts.
I am my words.
I am my actions.
I can't put my thoughts into words, which means I can't give myself a command to act.
Apparently, its more important than I thoughts, more complicated than I expected.
Tomorrow will bring a day. I don't care if its Monday or Thursday, January or October. I'll sit down at my desk and I'll make myself write a sentence. Then another one. And it doesn't matter if they turn out to be shitty. It's more important to make a start. This is how I want to spend days. Writing. But first I need to kick my own ass, because no-one else can do it but me.
