I wish I could express in words how good I feel alone! Even though everyone who promised to write/call/visit etc. me totally forgot to. No, I'm not offensive, not angry, I don't care. It's always like that. I never care. At least I want everyone to think that way.
Yeah, keep thinking that way! Keep thinking, that if I say I'm interested it is that way or if I post a picture of an actor and description says:"I want him naked in my bed" that's exactly what I think. That is different. But you won't see it. I just want to meet that guy, to work with him, to talk to him just like that. I just need such people in my real life. Oh, wait, I have them! They come to me every night in my dreams, literally. I need sunny, positive people who I could talk to about everything, including some intellectual topics, people, who could tell me a really interesting story, not a stupid and "funny" one, people, who would teach me something good and useful! Educated, smart, sunny, who can become serious when it's necessary, sincere!!!
I don't trust people enough. The ones I wanna talk to are always too far away. We send each other letters and e-mails. I'm kinda used to this already. Sure, I have friends, I have two really close friends but I'm starting to feel like they are better without me. It's difficult to be with me. I'm too different. It's cool that they still around but it feels fake. And this feeling doesn't let go. One more reason not to trust people.
Yeah, keep thinking that way! Keep thinking, that if I say I'm interested it is that way or if I post a picture of an actor and description says:"I want him naked in my bed" that's exactly what I think. That is different. But you won't see it. I just want to meet that guy, to work with him, to talk to him just like that. I just need such people in my real life. Oh, wait, I have them! They come to me every night in my dreams, literally. I need sunny, positive people who I could talk to about everything, including some intellectual topics, people, who could tell me a really interesting story, not a stupid and "funny" one, people, who would teach me something good and useful! Educated, smart, sunny, who can become serious when it's necessary, sincere!!!
I don't trust people enough. The ones I wanna talk to are always too far away. We send each other letters and e-mails. I'm kinda used to this already. Sure, I have friends, I have two really close friends but I'm starting to feel like they are better without me. It's difficult to be with me. I'm too different. It's cool that they still around but it feels fake. And this feeling doesn't let go. One more reason not to trust people.
