Review Mirror

It's funny when you think that everything's ok and things are getting better. But then something just goes wrong, really wrong. Well, it's my life, what the hell can go right here?!
I've overcome my biggest loss. I was ok with the things how they were. It was so hard for me to get there. My last Friday has ruined everything. The whole day was all about my loss... Hate it! It was all about our relationship and this damned 17th of October. Whole weekend was about this day too. Why? I was trying so hard and one appearance in the review mirror ruined everything!
Or maybe that's the way it was meant to be? Don't want to think it was. But I just keep thinking of it.

I Wanna Run

I'm shaking now. What am I afraid of? No idea. I'm just nervous. Extremely nervous. I'm afraid of tomorrow. As I used to say before, I have no desire to face it. Still want to stop.
People, pray to have a better future. I wish you happiness. I wish you love. I wish myself peace. I wish you would forget about me for a while. I wanna run to the middle of nowhere.

It All Ends

People always want to know what's next. We always want to know what's waiting for us. But we never think that sometimes it's way better not to know it. Every story has an end. No story is endless but some are eternal.

I wish that story was endless, I would like to watch magic spread and go on. Anyway, I will hold it forever in my heart. It will go on and on in my head. Nothing can stop it. Never ever!

Thank you for my childhood, for my own story. Love you. You are forever in my heart.

What I Mean When I Talk About Murakami

That's my very favorite writer. Most people I know normally laugh when I say it. Adults think that I'm too small, kids think that I'm too odd.But there's the thing they don't understand. Haruki Murakami has magic. He's master of the word and what he writes... It makes me feel like those thoughts are mine. They were always in my head, they just had been sleeping. He makes me feel like I'm a part of his stories, like I am a story. Thanks to him I've read Franz Kafka, I listen to jazz, I drink Perrier. And that's just because his characters do that. It makes me feel myself a part of his wonderful world.
One day I will be brave enough to write my own story. I will collect my friends' stories. I'll write it all down. And then I believe I'll become at least a bit like him.

Being Around

Just wanted to tell you're bitch. You're talented at self-destruction only. I'm better. I AM(!) so much better!! Don't care about you no more. At least trying to.
Hey, and if you're will ever read this... It sucks to be you but you know what sucks more? Being around.

What I'll Never Tell You

I've never lied to you.
I want you near! I don't hate you. I love you. I do. Can't live without you. Well, I tried, but that kind of life truly sucks. I can't imagine anyone who could ever replace you. You are the only best friend I ever had.
You were right at everything you said about me: I'm a fool, freak, jerk. Just the biggest cynic bitch ever! But with the heart and soul.
I'm not ready for the changes in my life. Still a kid. Still a fool.
I won't stop trying to talk to you as we used to. I won't stop trying not being afraid of your reaction. That's true, I'm afraid. That's why I can't say this to your face. But the main point is...I don't want to be enemies. I need at least the illusion of normal relationship. And I'm sorry!!!! I've done such a huge amount of things wrong way!I wish I could change it. But we both know I can't, but I'll never stop trying.
Oh that's not all...I just can't go on. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. I can't change the past, I'll try to change the future. Only if I have you permission to.
My life is very different now. Not the best I could have. Please tell me that it can be changed. In a good way.
Don't want to be enemies even if we can't be friends ever again.
As usual, my speech isn't perfect, I'm not eloquent, you know. But what I wrote...that was from the bottom of my heart. Don't mean to hurt you.

xoxo Me

Don't Wanna Go Any Further

Don't wanna go any further. I want to stop. Right here, right now. Don't wanna feel any more. Don't wanna live. No more. No, I'm not depressed, I'm fine. I just never thought I'd live till today. No, I'm not pessimist, it's just... I want to stop..! SOMEBODY STOP ME!!! I don't want tomorrow, I don't want yesterday, I want today and just today! Nothing more, nothing less.
And even if God won't help me at this, I want you to know: I've stopped today, the 29th of May year 2011. I'll watch you from here. Good luck.

It'll Be Fine In The End

Now it hurts me even more... I know, I know, it's stupid, no regrets, they don't work... But reality is different! It doesn't hurt when you see the face which used to be good and true to you but now it's a total mask. So sad... And you start regretting it that it doesn't hurt. But the trick is just to keep on going!.. Everything will be fine in the end but you have to have enough power to survive till the end comes.

Hate When It Comes So...

I hate when it comes so! One day we are friends, next day we are not! Then you suddenly appear in my graduation photo when I don't want it telling me we're cool, but you keep spreading the dirt behind my back. And how you call it?
Please, make up your mind!
Cause I can't decide if I hate you or not...

Get Over It!

If you think you've made a mistake recognize it and get over it!
If your boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on you just forget that he/she exists and get over it.
If you had a fight with a friend apologize or walk your way and get over it.
If people say you're too ordinary stop thinking about your behavior and get over it.
If you think you've got no talent try something new and get over it.
If you have enough time to do everything you should and everything you want and then come to me and tell how awful your life is, come and look what is my life like, shut up and get over it!!